If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me (Mark 8:34).
Again, note that Jesus' words were addressed to anyone who wished to come after Him, anyone who wanted to become His follower. This is the only relationship Jesus initially offers—to be His follower.
Many desire to be His friend without being His follower, but such an option does not exist. Jesus didn't consider anyone His friends unless they obeyed Him. He once said, "You are My friends, if you do what I command you" (John 15:14).
Many would like to be His brother without being His follower, but, again, Jesus didn't extend that option. He considered no one His brother unless he was obedient: "Whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother" (Matt. 12:50, emphasis added).
Many wish to join Jesus in heaven without being His follower, but Jesus conveyed the impossibility of such a thing. Only those who obey are heaven-bound: "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven" (Matt. 7:21).
In the sentence under consideration, Jesus informed those who wanted to follow Him that they couldn't follow Him unless they denied themselves. They must be willing to put their desires aside, making them subordinate to His will. Self-denial and submission is the essence of following Jesus. That is what it means to "take up your cross."
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David Servant ( - )
David Servant is the Founder of Heavens Family, helping the least of these world-wide. David Servant has been serving in ministry since 1979 as a church-planter, pastor, teacher and missionary. When David Servant read the results of his high-school vocational aptitude test, he laughed. The results told him that he was best suited for a career in ministry or in entertainment. At the time, David's future goal was to live in a log cabin in the wilderness and live off the land for the rest of his life. The Lord, however, had different plans for David Servant. God didn't intend for him to run away from the world, but rather to play a part in changing the world by building God's kingdom. David received his call to ministry during his (reluctant) freshman year at Penn State, and one year later was enrolled in Bible School.David Servant is the author of eight books, including Forever Rich, and the The Disciple-Making Minister, a 500-page equipping manual that has been translated into more than 20 languages and is being distributed to tens of thousands of pastors.