CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I was thirteen years going through the thorns of my vision. It was very hard, but God's grace was sufficient. I felt so weak under some of the severe tests; there was so much involved and the enemy struck death blows as he waged war on my soul. In the beginning of these thorns I was very conscious that I was in for a long battle. I realized it was as the vision of my path had revealed. I wish I could write all, but it involves some things that would not be fair for me to mention on the part of the one that Satan tried to use to stop me from obeying God and my calling. My Guide, the blessed Holy Ghost, kept me posted; He never lies.
As I started through those thorns, to make things harder, Satan had a certain preacher to say that he was going to do all he could to get me out of the work. I had stood for the right on a misappropriated fund of $800. It had been raised for a certain fund and had been used in another. I said, "Brothers I have a conscience void of offense. My word is out; this money should be used for what it was raised." We got that straightened out temporarily, but it did not set well with some. I was made the goat. I faced one man four times over things being said that were not true, until God said, "Say no more. This is part of the thorns."
Letters were written that hindered me from holding some meetings that had been previously arranged. Lies upon lies were told. And facing the thorns in other ways pierced very deep into my heart until one time I lost thirty-four pounds in fourteen days and was not sick. I cried till tears would not come. I thought I could never smile again. When I needed my brethren to stand by me, they were like Job's comforters. Different ones of my children said to me, when I was in the worst of it, "Daddy, don't do anything that will make us lose confidence in you." I never will forget one evening when the thorns were so sharp. I took my three precious little boys -- Pearl Junior, Winfield, and Melvin -- to the timber to pray. It was a very sad hour and we all wept and prayed. There are no words to express the value of those prayers to my heart. Those dear little boys sobbing and praying will never be erased from my mind, nor in heaven.
Later, just before Pearl Junior was to go to war, he came home. He and I were in the back yard. I put my hands on his shoulders and said, "Junior, I have never been with you like some fathers have been with their boys, but I love you as much as any father can love his son." He put both arms around me and said, "Daddy, I wouldn't have had you change for anything in the world. I am not ashamed of you and will be praying for you," and kissed me. We wept on each other's shoulders, not saying a word for sometime. It pays to do our best. Sometimes when I look on myself, I say, "Oh, I wish I could have done this or that," but I did the best I could or knew how at the time. I do see now where some things might have been done differently.
When I came out of those thorns, I thought I could not live. My heart ached. My home was gone with all my possessions. I was alone, yet not alone, for I had Jesus. He never forsook me. I feel so unworthy of His great love. During this period of time, God helped me to keep a forgiving spirit, and if I would do or say anything that I thought did not sound or was not just right, it was easy to say, "I am sorry. Please forgive me." No matter what people did to me, I kept a forgiving spirit in my heart. Many times I said aloud, "Lord, forgive them, they know not what they do."
One day old Satan said, "This is the pay you are getting for preaching. You just as well quit." I said aloud, "Satan, you are a liar. My pay day will not be until I stand before my Maker." Many times he suggested that I just as well to quit, and once he whispered the discouraging words, "Your children are all now in sin." They had backslidden. I said, "Old Satan, you are to blame for the whole thing and do you think I will ever serve you? I hate you and your works. It was you who caused all these heartaches. Do you think I will ever serve you? I tell you right here and now, I will never serve you, but I will fight you till I die."
My heart was very heavy and sad one day. It seemed that Jesus whispered to me, "I am a man acquainted with sorrow and grief. Cast your burdens upon me." I thought that I had, but I found that I was carrying something I could cast on Him, and I did. One day, I had such a burden for my unsaved children. All but two were backslidden at that time. I went to a timber to pray for them. The brush was thick. I fixed a place and knelt to pray. The burden increased; the agony for their souls became so heavy I felt I would die unless God helped. I cried out, "Oh, God, I can't stand it to see my children lost." I felt impressed to open my Bible, and these words seemed to stand out, "Your children shall serve me and yet be taught in my ways." I leaped and shouted, "It shall be done." That old brush patch could not hold me any longer. All but one are serving the Lord now, and five of them have been called to preach and three of them have married preachers. How good our Lord is. He saves us to serve, not to quit. I say, Praise the Lord for His goodness to His children and to me. The Lord has given me many very precious experiences.
Be the first to react on this!
