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Exasperate (2042) (erethizo from erétho = stir to anger) means "to cause someone to react in a way that suggests acceptance of a challenge, arouse, provoke mostly in bad sense and so to irritate, or embitter." (BDAG) "To arouse, excite, kindle; in a bad sense make resentful, irritate, rouse to anger (Col 3:21); in a good sense incite, stimulate (2Cor 9:2)." (Friberg). Note that Col 3:21 and 2Cor 9:2 are the only 2 NT uses of erethizo. As noted in the only other NT use of erethizo, erethizo is used in a positive sense meaning to encourage or motivate (provoke positively stimulating a change in motivation or attitude. ). For I know your readiness (eagerness), of which I boast about you to the Macedonians, namely, that Achaia has been prepared since last year, and your zeal has stirred up (erethizo) most of them. (2Cor 9:2) There are 5 uses of erethizo in the non-apocryphal Septuagint - Dt 21:20 (describes "rebellious"); Pr 19:7 ("pursues them with words" - Lxx = "provoking words"); 25.23" class="scriptRef">Pr 25:23; Dan 11:10, 25. To be quarrelsome or perverse In context Paul commands fathers to stop provoking (present imperative with a negative = stop an action that may already be in process) your children to the point that they become bitter and resentful. Our English word exasperate (from Latin exasperare = 'to make rough,' 'to irritate to anger’) means to make resentful, to cause annoyance, to irritate to a high degree, to provoke to anger, to rouse to rage, to inflame to an extreme degree, to irritate intensely, to infuriate. To cause (an unpleasant feeling or condition) to worsen or be aggravated. Exasperate suggests galling annoyance and the arousing of extreme impatience. Exasperate is used as an adjective in botany to describe something having a rough prickly surface because of the presence of hard projecting points. Interesting! Sounds like a few teenagers I've met in my lifetime! In secular writings we find the sentence "a spark kindled (erethizo) by the bellows" which which gives us an accurate picture of the potential effect of a father inappropriately disciplining his children! In other words, this secular use helps understand the potential effect insensitive (flesh enabled, rather than Spirit empowered) punishment can have on a child, inciting them to at least resentment but even to bitterness and/or anger! Beware dads! This warning is one we must assiduously heed as we discipline our children in a Spirit enabled, God honoring manner. Other secular Greek uses include "to provoke to curiosity", in the passive "to be provoked or excited". Remember that the context is important to keep in mind lest we not discipline in our own strength. Going back to Colossians 3:16-note (or go back to the beginning of the chapter for who we now are in Christ = Col 3:1, 2-note) which in turn is based on the truths in the first two chapters) the ideal father should "let the word of Christ richly dwell within...with all wisdom teaching and admonishing..." and so filled with the Word and the Spirit, training up his child in a godly way. One can exasperate by... (1) Overprotection--never allowing them any liberty, strict rules about everything. They do not trust their kids and the child despairs and can lead to rebellion. Parents must communicate that they trust. (2) By showing favoritism, often unwittingly. (3) By depreciating their worth. Many children are convinced that what they do and feel is not important. One way to decrease worth is by not LISTENING. These children may give up trying to communicate and become discouraged, shy, and withdrawn. (4) By setting unrealistic goals--by never rewarding them. Nothing is enough so they never get full approval. Are you trying to make them into a person they are NOT? Some kids become so frustrated that they commit suicide. (5) By failing to show affection (verbally & physically). (6) By not providing for their legitimate needs. (7) By lack of standards (the opposite of overprotection). These children are left to their own. They cannot handle that freedom and begin to feel insecure & unloved. (8) By destructive criticism. "A child learns what he lives. If he lives with criticism he does not learn responsibility. He learns to condemn himself and to find fault with others. He learns to doubt his own judgment, to disparage his own ability, and to distrust the intentions of others. And above all, he learns to live with continual expectation of impending doom." Parents should seek to create in the home a positive, constructive environment. (9) By neglect. David was indifferent to Absalom (and he failed to discipline Adonijah see 1Ki 1:6 who was put to death by his younger brother Solomon for probable treason). (10) By excessive discipline. Never discipline in anger. (Abridged from MacArthur, J. Colossians. Chicago: Moody Press) THAT THEY MAY NOT LOSE HEART: hina me athumosin (3PPAS): That (2443) (hina) is a common conjunction (663 hits in 620 verses) means so that, in order that, for the purpose of, to the end that, these senses being associated with a verb in the subjunctive (mood of possibility). Hina is also used with indicative mood verbs marking the end or purpose. Like "for" discussed above, it behooves the diligent student of the Word, to pause and ponder when "that" (so that) is encountered. Learn to ask simple questions, like "What is the purpose?" which will force you to examine the preceding context to determine what had to occur in order to bring about the purpose. In this verse the preceding text commands fathers not to exasperate their children and Paul now gives the purpose we should assiduously avoid this approach--the children might lose heart. Now, this may seem "simplistic" to you and you say "I knew that without pausing and pondering." That may be the case, but what you have been forced to do is slow down and more actively engage the living and active Word, rather that rapidly and rather passively reading it. As you slow down, you are giving your Teacher, the Spirit, greater opportunity to speak to your mind and your heart. For example, as you paused, He may have brought some forgotten instance from the past week in which you thought you were simply disciplining your children correctly, when in fact you may have crossed the line into exasperating them? Does this make sense? I can assure you, it is not a waste of time but to the contrary, an investment in time which can yield wonderful dividends as this practice becomes more natural and habitual. Friberg says hina is "used to introduce clauses that show a purpose or goal that, in order that, so that; (a) predominately with the present or aorist subjunctive." (As in our present passage). Zodhiates adds that hina is "Also used to indicate the cause for, or on account of which anything is done. Can be translated, “to the end that,” “in order that it might [or may] be.” It may also be used simply to indicate a happening, event or result of anything, or that in which the action terminates. Hína can be translated “so that it was [is, or will be].”" "Copy and paste the address below into your web browser in order to go to the original page which will allow you to access live links related to the material on this page - these links include Scriptures (which can be read in context), Scripture pop-ups on mouse over, and a variety of related resources such as Bible dictionary articles, commentaries, sermon notes and theological journal articles related to the topic under discussion."

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