Inspirational Quotes on Humor

“Where is Polonius? HAMLET In heaven. Send hither to see. If your messenger find him not there, seek him i' th' other place yourself. But if indeed you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up the stairs into the lobby.”

“I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.”

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road.”

“Have you met the French? My...GOD they know how to party!”

“The Reformer is always right about what's wrong. However, he's often wrong about what is right.”

“A knavish speech sleeps in a fool's ear.”

“The good Christian should beware of mathematicians. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.”

“You are hard at work madam ," said the man near her. Yes," Answered Madam Defarge ; " I have a good deal to do." What do you make, Madam ?" Many things." For instance ---" For instance," returned Madam Defarge , composedly , Shrouds." The man moved a little further away, as soon as he could, feeling it mightily close and oppressive .”

“Darkness was cheap, and Scrooge liked it.”

“The true reader reads every work seriously in the sense that he reads it whole-heartedly, makes himself as receptive as he can. But for that very reason he cannot possibly read every work solemly or gravely. For he will read 'in the same spirit that the author writ.'... He will never commit the error of trying to munch whipped cream as if it were venison.”

“There are more quarrels smothered by just shutting your mouth, and holding it shut, than by all the wisdom in the world.”

“La dernière chose qu'on trouve en faisant un ouvrage est de savoir celle qu'il faut mettre la première. ( .)”

“Since I came to the White House, I've gotten two hearing aids, had a colon operation, a prostate operation, skin cancer, and I've been shot...damn thing is, I've never felt better.”

“Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer”

“If you're explaining, you're losing.”

“In a word, we may reasonably hope for the virtual abolition of education when has fully had its way. All incentives to learn and all penalties for not learning will vanish.The few who might want to learn will be prevented; who are they to overtop their fellows? And anyway the teachers--or should I say, nurses?--will be far too busy reassuring the dunces and patting them on the back to waste any time on real teaching. We shall no longer have to plan and toil to spread imperturable conceit and incurable ignorance among men. The little vermin themselves will do it for us.”

“Please tell me you're Republicans.”

“Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene”

“Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool no where but in's own house.”

“Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.”