Matthew 18:17

And if he refuse to hear them, tell it unto the church: and if he refuse to hear the church also, let him be unto thee as the Gentile and the publican.

The mention of "the church," or "the congregation" as it is in the Greek, shows that this rule was propounded by Christ for observance on the part of his followers in all ages. And how is the rule usually observed? By its gross and unfeeling violation! When one feels wronged by another in the church, the temptation is for him to seek out some personal friend or confidant, and to elaborate the real or fancied wrong by embellishing it with every possible coloring and emphasis, thus spreading hate against the offending party. Telling the elders, the deacons, or the preacher, or anyone else, of the evil detected in another is wrong (until after the first admonition); and even after the first admonition, the greatest number to be acquainted with it is two others (see Matthew 18:16).

Go to the offender first! That is God's commandment! Those who depart from it, preferring some other way, do so at their eternal peril.