Ephesians 5:22

Paul addressed wives first. Christian wives are to be subject (Ephesians 5:21) to their own husbands as an expression of their submission to the Lord Jesus. Paul did not say they were to be subject to their own husbands in proportion as they are submissive to the Lord. In submitting to her husband, the wife is obeying the Lord who has commanded her to do so. In this section Paul was speaking of relationships in marriage, as the context clarifies (Ephesians 5:22-33). He was not saying all women are to be subject to all men, nor was he saying that women are inferior to men (cf. 1 Peter 3:7).

People often misunderstand submission. It does not indicate inferiority or involve losing one’s identity and becoming a non-person. Some women fear that submission will lead to abuse and or a feeling of being used. Submission does not mean blind obedience or passivity. It means giving oneself up to someone else.

"Equality of worth is not identity of role." [Note: J. H. Yoder, The Politics of Jesus, p. 177, footnote 23.]

We live in an ordered universe in which there is authority and submission to authority everywhere (cf. Romans 13:1). Authority and submission relationships are therefore natural and necessary to maintain order. God has authority over man (James 4:5). Man has authority over nature (Genesis 1:28). Husbands have authority over their wives (Ephesians 5:22). Parents have authority over their children (Ephesians 6:1). Governors have authority over those they govern (1 Peter 2:13-14). Employers have authority over their employees (1 Peter 2:18). Spiritual leaders have authority over those they lead spiritually (1 Peter 5:2).

Submission means organizing voluntarily to fill out a pattern that constitutes a complete whole. The word "support" is a good synonym for the biblical concept of "submit." A wife submits to her husband when she voluntarily "organizes" herself so she can complete her husband. A good example of this is her cooperating with him when they run a three-legged race. They have to work together to succeed. Submission is essential to achieve oneness in marriage. [Note: See Family Life Conference, pp. 104-6.]

Submission involves four responsibilities. It begins with an attitude of entrusting oneself to God. The focus of life must be on Jesus Christ. The ability to submit comes from Him (cf. 1 Peter 2:24). He is similar to the cables that enable a suspension bridge to carry out its purpose. Second, submission requires respectful behavior (cf. 1 Peter 3:1-2). This rules out nagging. Nagging is similar to having a duck nibble you to death. Third, submission means developing a godly character (cf. 1 Peter 3:3-5). Fourth, submission involves doing what is right (cf. 1 Peter 3:6). Submission should not extend to participating in conduct that is contrary to Scripture. Every Christian’s primary responsibility is to do God’s will. [Note: See Stott, pp. 218-19.]