St. Augustine

Excerpts from 'Devotional Classics' edited by Richard Foster and James Bryan Smith St. Augustine (354-430) Introduction to the Author St. Augustine, the bishop of Hippo, was the great doctor of the Latin church. Born in N. Africa in 354 he was the son of a pagan father and a devoutly religious mother. He was brought up as a Christian and at 16 went to Carthage to complete his education in Law. In 375 he became interested in philosophy and abandoned his Christian heritage. A skill speaker, he went to Rome and founded his own school of rhetoric. While in Rome he was further influenced by Plato and St. Ambros. He gave up his life of pagan philosophy and embraced the Christian faith. He returned to Africa and formed a religious community. In 391 he was ordained a priest (against his wishes).He spent 34 years in his monastic community. He wrote a vast number of books and became know for his eloquence, logic and spiritual passion. these three traits combined made Augustine one of the most significant thinkers in the history of the Christian church. It is difficult to find a theologian from any age who has not been influenced by Augustine. The following is an excerpt from his autobiographical book titled: Confessions. In this passage he sheds light on the eternal struggle of the will and its surrender to Christ by retelling his own conversion to the life of faith. Excerpts from 'Confessions' 1. A House Divided My inner self was a house divided against itself. The mind gives an order to the body and it is at once obeyed, but when it gives an order to itself, it is resisted. What is the cause? the mind orders itself to make an act of will and it would not give the order unless it willed to do so; yet it does not carry out its own command. the mind commands the mind to make an act of will, these two are one and the same and yet the order is not obeyed. 2. Weighed Down by Habit The reason the command is not obeyed is that it is not given with the full will. Therefore it is no strange phenomenon partly to will to do something and partly not to will to do it. It is a disease of the mind which does not wholly rise to the heights where it is lifted by the truth, because it is weighed down by habit. So there are two wills in us, because neither by itself is the whole will and each possesses what the other lacks. 3. Torn Between Conflicting Wills When I was trying to reach a decision about serving the Lord my God, as I had long intended to do so, it was I who willed to take this course and again it was I who willed not to take it. So I was at odds with myself. My action did not come from me but from the sinful principal that dwells in me (Rom. 7:17). It was part of the punishment of a sin freely committed by Adam, my first father. 4. On the Brink of the Resolution This was the nature of my sickness, I was in torment, reproaching myself more bitterly than ever as I twisted and turned in my chain. I hoped that my chain might be broken once for all. I tried again and again and came a little closer to my goal and then a little closer still, so that I could almost reach out and grasp it. But I did not reach it. I could not reach out and grasp it because I held back from the step by which I should die to death and become alive to life. And the closer I came to the moment which was to mark the great change in me, the more I shrank from it is horror. But it did not drive me back or turn me from my purpose; it merely left me hanging in suspense. 5. My State of Indecision I was held back by my old attachments. In my state of indecision, these old attachments, the delights of the world, the lusts of the flesh kept me from tearing myself away, from shaking myself free of them and leaping across the barrier to the other side where you were calling me Lord. Habit was too strong for me when it asked 'Do you think you can live without these things?' 6. Trembling at the Barrier I was overcome with shame because I was still listening to the futile mutterings of my lower self and I was still hanging in suspense. But my Lord seemed to be saying to me 'Close your ears to the unclean whispers of your body so that it may be mortified. it tells you of things that delight you, but not such things as the law of the Lord your God has to tell.' 7. Why Not Now? I probed the hidden depths of my soul and wrung its pitiful secrets from it and when I mustered them all before the eyes of my heart, a great storm broke out within me. Somehow I flung myself down beneath a fig tree and gave way to the tears which now streamed from my eyes. For I felt that I was still captive of my sins and I cried out 'How long shall I go on saying Tomorrow, tomorrow? Why not mow? Why not make an end of my ugly sins at this moment?' I was asking myself these questions, weeping all the while with the most bitter sorrow in my heart, when all at once I heard the singing of a child in a nearby house. Whether it was the voice of a boy or girl I don't know but again and again it repeated the refrain, 'Take it and read, take it and read.' I stemmed my flood of tears and stood up, telling myself that this could only be a divine command to open my book of Scripture and read the first passage on which my eyes should fall. I hurried back to the place I had kept the book containing Paul's epistles. I seized it and opened it, and in silence I read the first passage on which my eyes fell: 'Not in reveling and drunkenness, not in lust and wantonness, not in quarrels and rivalries. Rather arm yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ; spend no more thought on nature and nature's appetites.' (Rom. 13:13-14) I had no wish to read more nor no need to do so. For an instant as I came to the end of the sentence, it was as though the light of confidence flooded into my heart and all the darkness of doubt was dispelled. I marked the place with my finger and closed the book. You converted me to yourself, so that I no longer placed any hope in this world but stood firmly upon the rule of faith. Read: Romans 7:14-25 Reflection 1. St. Augustine says that he felt like a house divided torn between two opposing desires. Have you ever felt this experience? Describe it. 2. A strong force that works against our inner unity writes, Augustine, is that we are weighed down by habit. What role have habits played in your struggle of commitment to God? 3. Augustine writes about the whispers of his old habits, and how they tried to persuade him until, in time, their voice grew faint. Which voices of habit would cry the loudest if you were to try and break their habit? 4. Resolve this week to bring an end to one of your bad habits. refuse to be mastered by anything other than God. Use Augustine's story to draw encouragement. Do not try to master the habit yourself; instead rely on the strength of God offered by the indwelling Holy Spirit of God. 5. The Holy Spirit urged Augustine to close his ears to the unclean whispers. Each time you face temptation this week, turn your attention away from it's plea. In its place, turn your attention to that which is beautiful, honorable and truthful. 6. Allow Christ to rescue you, as he did Paul, from the war within. Resolve not to resolve, but instead to resign. Let Christ have control of the struggle within.