An Appeal to Husbands

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it... Ephesians 5:25 Dr. Harry Ironside was approached by a young man on one occasion who came to confess a fault. He told the preacher that he felt he was loving his wife too much. "In fact, I've put her on such a high plane, I fear it's sinful," lamented the young husband. "Do you think you love your wife more than Christ loved the church?" inquired Ironside. He didn't dare say he did. "Well, that's the limit to which we may go," he continued. The Apostle Paul's appeal to the husbands in the church of Ephesis to love their wives is just as relevant today as it was then. His timeless exhortation strikes at the heart of every Christian man who has taken unto himself a wife. Although his admonition is brief, its depth of responsibility is vast. As believing husbands, we would do well to take to heart his admonition. Perhaps where we as Christian husbands find the most difficulty is not in our failure to love our wives, but rather not loving them as Christ loved the church. Our wrong lies not in our negligence to love, but in the way that we love. Do we love our wives with the same kind of sacrificial love that Christ demonstrates for His church? If not, then why? Possibly a major reason may be that we have not taken the time to ponder how the heavenly Bridegroom loves His bride. Let us consider four scriptural ways that the Lord loves His church. First of all, He prays for her. In John 17:9, Christ said, "I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me;...." His earthly petition included praying for her security (v.11), safety (v.15), sanctification (v.17), and singleness as a body (v.21). And He is still interceding for her this very hour. Can any husband honestly testify that he loves his wife as Christ Jesus if he does not frequently and fervently pray for her? In his excellent book Disciplines of a Godly Man, Kent Hughes wrote, "...giving ourselves for our brides involves prayerful intercession. Men, do you pray for your wives? If not, you are sinning against her and against God. Most Christian men who claim to love their wives never offer more than a perfunctory nod to their wives' needs before God. Men, you ought to have a list of her needs, spoken and unspoken, which you passionately hold up to God out of love for her. Praying is the marital work of a Christian husband!" A second expression of love that Christ exhibits for His church is His praise for her. In Matthew 11:7-11, the Lord lauds John the Baptist in the presence of those who have just heard John question the character of the Son of God through two of his disciples. In response, Christ had nothing but praise for John on the heels of this cynicism. He said, "Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist..." (V.11) In comparison, rarely do you hear Christian men praise their partners. Billy Sunday used to say, "Try praising your wife, even if it frightens her at first." Another way that the Redeemer proves His great love for his bride is by purifying her. Ephesians 5:26-27 gives us the divine purpose of Christ's death. His sacrifice afforded our sanctification. As Titus 2:14 confirms, "Who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous unto good works." Jesus Christ faithfully affirms His love for His church by convicting, chastening, and cleansing her. Likewise, when a husband spiritually nurtures his wife, his care reflects a special love. Spiritual growth is significantly hindered when a man is so preoccupied with his own interests that he fails to lovingly mentor his mate. It seems that too many men want the benefits of marriage without the responsibilities. It was reported that Jonathan and Sarah Edwards would remain up late at night after the children were put to bed to share devotional time together because Mr. Edwards realized how vitally important it was to nourish the spiritual life of his beloved Sarah. A fourth matter in which Christ manifest love for His church is by preserving her. Proverbs 2:8 assures us of His watchful care as Solomon says, "He keepeth the paths of judgement, and preserveth the way of his saints." While Psalm 97:10 tells us that.... "He preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked." The Christ that has destroyed the works of the devil, preserves his bride by His mighty power. Romans 8:38 promises that no principality or power is able to separate us from the love of God. In the light of this loving expression of the heavenly Bridegroom, do we as Christian husbands lovingly allure our wives away from worldly lusts that war against their souls? Can we say that we love our partners like Christ, enough to protect them from a secular media that seeks to desensitize and defile their conscience? Are we tenderly monitoring the spiritual life of our wife so as to detect any intruder that could potentially weaken her lifeline to Christ? Yes, I believe that there are many Christian men who fare well in loving their wives, but fall far short of loving them as Christ loved. As Christian husbands, let us refuse to be content with routinely loving our wives and purpose to display toward her the same kind of love that Christ has shown us.