"What's wrong with me, Gareth?" said Angela as she sat in my office weeping. "Every morning I wake up in a cold sweat, fearing that Roger is going to propose to me. I get up determined to end our relationship as soon as I can. However, as the day goes on, I realise what a fool I would be as he is everything I want in a husband! He is a believer, kind and courteous. We have the same interests and he treats me as a queen."
" What worries me further is that I have done this before, ending long relationships with godly men and then spending a year regretting my stupidity. Will I never be married? What's wrong with me?"
We began to talk about her family in Australia, her childhood and teen years. She came from a godly family, her father being a successful business man and an elder in their local church. She had a brother and sister, both younger than she. As she talked a clear pattern began to emerge.
"Angela" I said, "every time you have mentioned your father, you say how much you love one another but it seems that he is negative to everything you've done. When you did well in school, he always commented that your sister had obtained higher marks; when you did well in sport, your brother had always done better; when you found that first job in the bank, he said how you should have asked him first as he would have obtained a better position for you."
The responsibility of a father (and mother) is to pour love into their (love-tank) child. This is not just cuddles, kisses and toys but also identity, security, self esteem, goals, etc. When a parent fails in this, they are sinning against that child and wounds often result. Counsellors call this dysfunction.
"Angela, is it possible that you have developed a wound which says 'I am not good enough! Not good enough for my father, so not good enough for Roger.'"
She saw this possibility and eagerly followed my teaching on release, praying a prayer of release upon her father with a commitment to walk out a personal healing. A few weeks later, Angela was diagnosed with kidney stones and, as there were no facilities for operating at the mission station where she worked, she was sent home to Australia.
She returned two months later. "How did it go?" I asked her, referring to the operation. "Oh, I had no operation" she replied, "they could find nothing wrong with me. However, I have just spent five wonderful weeks with my father! He took time off work to tour me around all his work plants, boasting to everyone of the work I am doing and telling them all how proud he is of me!! Gareth, I've fallen in love with my father - and I can't wait to see Roger again!"
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Gareth Evans ( - )
Gareth Evans is an itinerant pastor/teacher with a burden to minister to the hurting church his ministry website is Gareth Evans Ministries. Formerly a Physics teacher in the UK and Canada, he became a pastor with the Christian & Missionary Alliance in Canada in 1979. In 1991, he was invited to serve as pastor on board the M/V Anastasis, a medical, missionary ship operated by Youth With A Mission (YWAM). Since leaving that ministry four years later, Gareth has traveled to many countries, encouraging pastors and missionaries.He is married to Anne and they have three married daughters, nine grandchildren and three great grandchildren. Gareth and Anne live in Victoria, in beautiful British Columbia, Canada. Some of his main burdens is to mentor young men to see them walk in the anointing of God and soar on wings as eagles. He has also prayed for revival and moderated many revival conferences across the world.