Fitting (433) aneko by Greek Word Studies

Is fitting (433) (aneko) means something is fitting or right to do and is what is proper or is one's duty. Aneko is used of actions that are due someone and Lightfoot states conveys the "ultimate meaning of moral obligation". In (Philemon 1:8 third and final NT use in Ep 5:4-note) the contextual use of aneko denotes not merely that which is fitting but that which is almost legally obligatory or a necessary duty. In this use in Colossians aneko is in the imperfect tense which speaks of an action going on in past time. Lightfoot says that the use of the imperfect/past tense points to the fact that the wife’s submission to her husband is an obligation that is a self-evident one which is arrived at from reasoning regarding the proper relation of the wife to the husband. The Greek form in this phrase expresses an obligation. This speaks of how God designs and commands the godly family to operate. Aneko - 3x - Eph 5:4 and [there must be no] filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. Phlm 1:8 Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you [to do] that which is proper, In the Lord - This phrase modifies fitting and thus this obligation on the part of the wife is fitting in the Lord in the sense that she is as to her position in salvation, in Christ, and a person in such a position has the moral obligation to obey the Scriptures when they command the wife to be subject to her husband. Many couples are united in wedlock in a rosy fog of optimism. Blinded to the shortcomings, each sees only the other’s good points. But as the years pass by, the excitement wears off, and the couple begins to drift to the opposite extreme of viewing each other's same traits as faults! Someone has called this “reverse reasoning,” giving the following examplesses “She married him because he was ‘strong and masculine’; she divorced him because he was a very ‘dominating male.’ He married her because she was so ‘fragile and petite’; he divorced her because she was so ‘weak and helpless.’ She chose him because ‘he knew how to provide a good living’; she left him because ‘all he thought about was the business.’ He married her because she was ‘steady and sensible’; he divorced her because she was ‘boring and dull.’” Note the repetition of "Lord,” in these last verses of this epistle (occurring seven times Col 3:18, 20, 22, 23, 24 ; Col 4:1). Eadie on in the Lord - The translation then is—“as it should be in the Lord.” This obligation of submission commenced with their union to the Lord, sprang out of it, and had not yet been fully discharged. It is therefore not a duty which had only newly devolved upon them, but its propriety reached back to the point of their conversion. Their union with the Lord not only expounded the obligation, but also enforced it. (Colossians 3:18 Commentary) Guzik has a lengthy discourse on "fitting in the Lord" This is a crucial phrase. It colors everything else we understand about this passage. There have been two man “wrong” interpretations of this phrase, each favoring a certain “position.” i. The interpretation that “favors” the husband says that as is fitting in the Lord means that a wife should submit to her husband as if he were God himself. The idea is “you submit to God in absolutely everything with question, so you must submit to your husband in the same absolute way.” This thinks that as is fitting in the Lord defines the extent of submission. But this is wrong. Simply put, in no place does the Scripture say that a person should submit to another in that way. There are limits to the submission your employer can expect of you. There are limits to the submission the government can expect of you. There are limits to the submission parents can expect of children. In no place does the Scripture teach an unqualified, without exception, submission – except to God and God alone. To violate this is to commit the sin of idolatry. ii. The interpretation that “favors” the wife says that as is fitting in the Lord means “I’ll submit to him as long as he does what the Lord wants.” And then it is the wife’s job to decide what the Lord wants. This thinks that as is fitting in the Lord defines the limit of submission. This is also wrong. It is true that there are limits to a wife’s submission, but when the wife approaches as is fitting in the Lord in this way, then it degenerates into a case of “I’ll submit to my husband when I agree with him. I’ll submit to him when he makes the right decisions and carries them out the right way. When he makes a wrong decision, he isn’t in the Lord, so I shouldn’t submit to him then. It isn’t fitting to do so.” Simply put, that is not submission at all. Except for those who are just plan cantankerous and argumentative, everyone submits to others when they are in agreement. It is only when there is a disagreement that submission is tested. iii. As is fitting in the Lord does not define the extent of a wife’s submission. It does not define the limit of a wife’s submission. It defines the motive of a wife’s submission. It means, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands because it is a part of your duty to the Lord, because it is an expression of your submission to the Lord.” They submit simply because it is fitting in the Lord to do it. It honors God’s Word and His order of authority. It is part of their Christian duty and discipleship. iv. “The phrase ‘in the Lord’ indicates that wifely submission is proper not only in the natural order but also in the Christian order. The whole thing, then, is lifted to a new and higher level.” (Vaughan) v. Therefore, as is fitting in the Lord means:  For wives, submission to their husband is part of their Christian life.  When a wife doesn’t obey this word to submit to your own husband as is fitting in the Lord, she doesn’t just fall short as a wife. She falls short as a follower of Jesus Christ.  This means that the command to submit it completely out of the realm of “my nature” or “my personality.” Wives aren’t expected to submit because they are the “submissive type.” They are expected to submit because it is fitting in the Lord.  This has nothing to do with your husband’s intelligence, or giftedness, or capability. It has to do with honoring the Lord Jesus Christ.  This has nothing to do with whether or not your husband is “right” on a particular issue. It has to do with Jesus being right.  This means that a woman should take great care in how she chooses her husband. Remember, ladies: this is what God requires of you in marriage. This is His expectation of you. Instead of looking for an attractive man, instead of looking for a wealthy man, instead of looking for a romantic man, you better first look for a man you can respect. (Colossians 3 Commentary) William MacDonald makes the point that Paul repeatedly brings these matters of everyday life under the searchlight of the lordship of Christ as follows: (1) Wives—as is fitting in the Lord (Col 3:18). (2) Children—well-pleasing to the Lord (Col 3:20). (3) Servants—fearing the Lord (Col 3:22). (4) Servants—as to the Lord (Col 3:23). (MacDonald, W & Farstad, A. Believer's Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson or Logos) The home life is to be pervaded with the acknowledgement of His divine preeminence throughout. There is a placard, often found in the homes of Christians throughout the world, which aptly states that... Christ is the Head of this house, The unseen Guest at every meal, The silent Listener to every conversation ><>><>><> Notes on HUPOTASSO (from Dr. Wayne Barber Ephesians 5:22, 33) (1) First let’s look at the meaning of the phrase "be subject." The word "subject" is hupotasso and means to submit. So when I use the term "submit" I am saying the same thing as "subject yourself." Hupotasso comes from two Greek words, the word hupo, which means "under," and tasso, which means "to set in place." In other words, hupotasso means to set something up under something else. In the context it is talking about one submitting to the authority of another. Paul is saying to the wives, Be willing to place yourself in a position under your husband who is the authority of your family. Be in that position of being submissive. ...Hupotasso, the word that is used for wives to husbands, is the word that talks about two people who are absolutely equal in God’s eyes, totally equal. There is not one level of inferiority of one to the other. But the wife makes a choice to place herself as an equal underneath another equal, her husband, in order that there can be order and function in the family. The whole purpose of it is so that it meets the design that God has ordained. So what is the meaning of the word hupotasso? Does it mean that your wife is a slave to obey your every command? Does it mean that you treat her like a child? No! If there is a man who thinks for one second that they have any superiority in God’s eyes over their wife, they are gravely mistaken from God’s Word. However, by His design to have a functional family, concessions have to be made. So God says, "Wives, you make it and you choose to put yourself underneath the headship of your husband" in order that the design can be what God says it ought to be. The meaning of it has nothing to do with inferior to superior. It takes nothing from the dignity of a woman for her to submit, but rather it enhances her worth in God's eyes, for such a worthy walk is pleasing in His sight. It takes great integrity for a person to do what God says should be done. (Ed: And it also takes "great power", not the wife's power, but the Spirit of Christ in her, giving her both the desire and the power [Php 2:13NLT to fulfill God's design for a healthy marriage.) (2) Secondly, let’s look at the mindset of submission. In Ephesians 5:22 it says, Wives, be submissive to your husbands. It says nothing about their ability. There are many families in which the wife is more gifted than the man. Maybe the wife is full of personality, full of character, full of all kinds of ability. It is the exact reverse of what you think the model ought to be. God says, "Wives, I don’t care how much intelligence you have. I don’t care how many spiritual gifts you have. I don’t care how much energy you have. I don’t care how much better you look than your husband. Wives, submit to your husbands." "But God, my husband is a bully! God, you don’t want me submitting to my husband, do you?" God said, "That’s right. You submit to your husband." The mindset comes up in the verb: "be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." The verb there is present tense and middle voice. This is not something you do one time so you can get something. Present tense means this is constant: every day be being under submission to your husband at all times. But even more than that is the middle voice. The middle voice means, you yourself make your own choice. If you want to have a properly functioning family, wives, you yourself make up your mind you are going to live in the state of submissiveness to your husband, no matter what he is like. God says, "Submit to that man in your family." The meaning is of two equals. Oh, what integrity a person who loves God has who is willing to put themselves under an equal in order that God’s order and function may take place in the family. (3) Thirdly, there is the motivation of being submissive. Now what in the world would make a woman who is equal, probably more gifted, probably more educated than her husband, put herself under submission to him? Well, look at the verse: "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." I have had people ask me, "You mean to tell me I am to treat my husband as I treat the Lord? Is that what he is saying there?" No, he is not saying that. A lot of husbands want to be treated that way, but that is not what he is saying. Paul is saying, "You do this as an act of love to the Lord." What should motivate you to do this? The verse is saying the thing that ought to motivate you is because the Spirit of God controls your life and the Spirit of God has revealed to you what the Scriptures say. In order for the Lord to make your family a functional family, you are willing to obey what He says. It’s not because you love your husband that much, but it is because you love Jesus that much. That is the key. As I love the Lord Jesus, I am willing to do whatever it is he tells me to do. A wife’s love for Christ motivates her to obey. So, she looks in God’s Word. She is a student of Scripture. She can’t be Spirit-filled if she is not because the Scripture has to play a role in our obeying the Lord Jesus Christ. She gets into the Word. Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands." Jesus said in John 14:21, "If you love Me, you will obey Me." She says, "Out of loving You, Lord, I am going to do what You have told me to do." That is the motivation of submission. (4) Fourthly, let’s look at the model of submission. Ladies, God has honored you because He has asked you to do what He also has done. The model, of course, is the Lord Jesus Himself. Paul says in Eph 5:23, 24, "For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." We will get into some more of the details of that later. I want you to see first of all the model of submission. Look in Philippians 2:5-8 (notes). In verses Php 2:5, 6 it reads, Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient." The word there is not the one he is asking wives to do. Oh, no, it is a much more severe word. It is hupakouo. He chose to be a reflection of His Father. He says in John, "I can do nothing of my own initiative. What I see My Father do, I do. What I hear My Father saying, I say. I have absolutely, unconditionally obeyed everything He says because I am a reflex of Him." Yet He doesn’t ask the wives to obey that way. He simply asks them to obey as equals who choose to put themselves underneath them. He did that for us. As an equal He did that and modeled it for us. But He went a step further. He could do nothing except of His Father. That is not what He asks you to do, but He has already modeled it before you. You may ask, "Well, where does the Lord Jesus live now? How is He going to help me?" That is why I started where I started. He lives in us. We are the Temple of the Spirit of God. Where does Christ live? He lives in my heart. His Spirit resides in my heart! Therefore, whatever He can do, He can still do in and through me, for God is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond what we ever ask or even think. God can do that in your life. That is the model of the Lord Jesus. In 1Peter 2 there is the example of the Lord Jesus Christ. I want you to see what he says about submission over here. He takes it right into the marriage relationship but he doesn’t start there. He says in 1Peter 2:13, 14, 15... Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. In other words, he is saying, "If you are not willing to submit to authority, then you are bringing all kinds of confusion to these people." 1Peter 2:16-25 goes on: Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all men; love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a man bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. (1Pe 2:16-note) Peter continues the thought in 1Peter 3:1... In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Lord, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. Peter talks about a beauty of a wife when she submits. It is not outward. It is inward. God turns that light on, and even a disobedient husband can actually be won to Christ. So the meaning of submission is not an inferior to a superior. It is of two equals. One chooses for the sake of the design to do what God says to do. You are going to have to make up your own mind. It is going to have to be a lifestyle. The motivation is the Lord Jesus living in you. You are doing it for Him. You are loving Him. The model is Jesus Himself. He has already modeled it out for us and showed us exactly what to do. So the responsibility of the wife is to submit to her husband in order for the home to have order and for it to function properly. ><>><>><> AN ENDURING MARRIAGE - A 104-year-old California man and his 96-year-old wife recently celebrated eighty years of marriage. She had been a sixteen-year-old "child bride" in a marriage the families had arranged. They had no dating period—no chance to "fall in love" by today's standards. So many things were against them. Yet they raised five children, survived the Great Depression, and lived to see a day when nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. How in the world did they do it? They stayed together on the basis of good old-fashioned values. For them, love meant commitment "till death us do part." What happened to those old values? Have we found better ideals, better principles of relationships, deeper insights, and better understanding? If so, why do so many people live with the regret of broken marriages, broken homes, broken families, and broken promises? Maybe it's time to look again at the values that make marriages work—values such as mercy, kindness, humility, longsuffering, forbearance, and forgiveness (Col. 3:12-13). Do these sound old-fashioned? Perhaps, but they work! —M. R. D. II A CHRISTIAN HOME IS ONE WHERE GOD IS A PERMANENT GUEST. ><>><>><> A couple were having marital difficulties and went to see a marriage counselor. The counselor asked, “Don’t you two have anything in common?” The wife answered, “Yes, neither of us can stand the other.” For a good marriage, don’t concentrate on being able to “stand the other person” but live so that your spouse can “stand you.” (Bits and Pieces) Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love (2PPAM) your wives and do not be embittered (2PPPM) against them. (NASB: Lockman) Greek: Oi andres, agapate (2PPAM) tas gunaikas kai me pikrainesthe (2PPPM) pros autas Amplified: Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them. (Amplified Bible - Lockman) KJV: Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Macent: husbands, love your wives, and do not exasperate them. Moffatt: Husbands, love your wives, do not be harsh to them. Montgomery: Husbands, be loving to your wives, and be not cross or surly with them. NJB: Husbands, love your wives and do not be sharp with them (NJB) NLT: And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly. (NLT - Tyndale House) Phillips: Husbands, be sure you give your wives much love and sympathy; don't let bitterness or resentment spoil your marriage. (Phillips: Touchstone) Wuest: Husbands, be loving your wives with a divine love which impels you to deny yourselves for their benefit, and stop being bitter and harsh to them. (Eerdmans) Young's Literal: the husbands! love your wives, and be not bitter with them; HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES: hoi andres, agapate (2PPAM) tas gunaikas: (love: Ge 2:23,24 Ge 24:67 Pr 5:18,19 Eccl 9:9 Mal 2:14-16 Lk 14:26 Eph 5:25,28,29,33 1Pe 3:7) LOVING LEADERS Related Resource: Adam, Where Are You? - sermon by John Piper “In exhortations the scales should be equally poised” (Chrysostom) as they are here. F B Hole - God's arrangements are never lop-sided. If there is a word of instruction and guidance for those who have the subject place, there is equally a word for those who take the lead. In each case the Spirit of God puts His finger upon the weak spot. The husband is exhorted to love. Mere natural love can easily turn to bitterness, but this can never happen when his love is a reflection of the divine. If the husband is marked by love the wife has no difficulty in being subject. Tony Evans on the verb love - This is the self-sacrificing, agape love that Christ displayed when He loved and gave Himself for the church (Ephesians 5:25). A husband ought to ask himself regularly, “What have I given up for my wife lately? What has it cost me to be her husband? What sacrifices have I made to enhance her well-being?” Christ loved the church so much He made the ultimate sacrifice for her. That’s the model of a husband’s love. Many men have the idea that being a husband means being “the boss.” But Christ demonstrated sacrificial, servant love. To put it simply, a husband should be outserving his wife. One way a husband can test his servanthood is to list all the things his wife does for him and all the things he does for her, and see which list is longer. Christ is exalted when we husbands demonstrate His love in our marriages. It would be a major revelation to some husbands to discover that their wives were not put on earth to serve them. A wife is there to love, help, and support her husband, but his love should outserve hers because a husband’s love is commanded in Scripture. The wife is never commanded to love her husband. The Bible also tells husbands not to become bitter toward their wives. The reason is that what you see is what you created. A wife is a mirror that reflects back to her husband what she is receiving from him, because a woman was made to respond. That does not mean that everything wrong in a woman’s life is her husband’s fault. She may have brought a lot of baggage into the marriage. But if Christ’s actions toward the church are an example of a husband’s actions toward his wife, perhaps part of a husband’s job is to sanctify his wife (Ephesians 5:25–26), to help fix what’s wrong. God created woman as a “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7), not weaker in character but more fragile in spirit, needing tender, loving care and nurturing lest she be crushed. A husband’s love can cause his wife to open and bloom like a flower with new life. (Who is this king of glory?: experiencing the fullness of Christ’s work in our lives) Eadie on love your wives - The duty is touchingly illustrated in Ephesians 5:25-26. The implication is, that the submission of the wife is gained by the love of the husband. Though the husband is to govern, he must govern in kindness. This duty is so plain that it needs no enforcement. The apostle then specifies one form in which the want of this love must have often shown itself—“and be not bitter against them.” (Colossians 3:19) We read Paul's call for husbands to love and we can easily miss how radical they were to men in the ancient world. Eduard Lohse writes that “Pre-Christian antiquity knew of the terms ‘to love/love’…but in the Hellenistic world these terms do not occur in rules for the household.”

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Fitting (433) aneko

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