CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
God once gave me a vision of folk going to hell. There was a shining path that led upward, and another that led to a very large broad way and on to a great circle of all kinds of worldly entertainment. Many people were going, but the largest crowd came out from the church to go down to the pleasures of the world. Now and then one soul would come out of the church and go up the shining narrow path. There were missions and personal workers to warn them, but the people continued to go on down the broad way of worldly pleasures. I kept going that way, trying to warn them of the coming judgment and their danger of going on that broad way. At last I came to a certain place, and Jesus was standing there. There was a radium-like line drawn. I could see the pit of hell in the far distance.
I said, "Lord, I never intended to go to hell." He said, "Not many do, but once they cross this line, they are doomed to be lost."
An old man approached us. The Lord stretched out His hand and asked the man to give his heart to Him, and go up the shining way. The old man said, "I have lived too long in sin to change now." The Lord said, "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. The old man shook his head "no" as he, no doubt, had done many times before, and went on over the line. An aged woman came, grave in her looks. Jesus reached His hand to her. She said, "Not now. He warned her, but she went on over the line. Then some sober, middle-aged folk went by. Jesus spoke to them, but they wanted the pleasure of the world, and soon they were over the line. Then I saw some young girls coming. They were laughing and chewing gum; their faces were painted and were they decked with jewelry. The Lord spoke to them. One of them seemed interested, but because of the others she, as well as the others, was soon over the line. One of the girls turned and made a face at Jesus and the others giggled with a hellish laugh.
Some boys came next. They were smoking and acting very important. Again, the Lord stretched out His hand and spoke to those boys, but they took it lightly and went on over the line. Then a group came. He warned them, but they put up an argument that they were trusting their lodge, and so long as they lived up to the lodge they were as good as those in church, and named some who belonged to a certain denomination. But Jesus said, "I am the door: by Me if any man enter in, he shall be saved. It is not by joining a lodge or some organization. You must be born again or you cannot see the kingdom of God. If any man climbs up any other way, the same is a thief and a robber, and no thief or robber hath eternal life. Turn to Me; give up these worldly organizations and be converted, or you cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven." But they trusted to their false hope and passed over the dead line.
Then the Lord called Apollyon, the angel of the pit of hell, and said, "Take my servant to hell, but bring him back." Then, in my vision, Apollyon put a sharp sickle about my neck and we went to hell. I can only describe part of the vision. As we were going down, the darkness was so dense I could feel it. The air was filled with brimstone fumes. It was death -- without God. Down, down, down, we went till at last our feet rested on the bottom. It is hard to describe. It was dark, yet you could see flashes. of blue flame; the heat was like a great smelting oven. I could hear the screams and wailing of the lost. There were stages where they were being tormented. I would ask Apollyon if I could go in there and see them. He would say, "You cannot go in there and live." Then I would hear others and ask if I could go in and see them. Their shrieks and screams were almost unbearable.
At last we stood at a precipice, overlooking a lake of fire. Just then I heard awful weeping. I said, "May I go in and see?" Apollyon said, "There are those who went to hell from church groups who would not obey God's Word and follow Him. This is the worst punishment in hell." Then he explained the lake of fire Apollyon said, "This hell will have to be enlarged to hold the people. Then, at the White Throne Judgment, all who are here will come up to the judgment of the Almighty God to give account of their deeds done in the body and the effect it had on others. You see, this is just a prison. These are here in torment, waiting the final sentence when all evidences are in; then, they will be sentenced to this lake. This is the second death. When one is cast into the lake of fire, it is for eternity. To sink in dark damnation, to rise, to sink again, and after what would be millions of years here, eternity will have just begun. The hand of eternity will never strike off time." Oh sinner, repent now! "This hell is light punishment compared with the lake of fire." It was not like fire as we know it. It will be a place where you will have to live forever with your conscience and the ever-increasing agony of being lost forever from love and mercy, where you will have all your senses and appetites, but nothing to quench the ever-increasing thirst, nothing to ease the agonies of being lost forever Then in the vision, we started to return. As we were going, I again heard cries. I said, "May I go in there?" Apollyon said finally, "You may." A great door several feet thick opened and I could see the form of the spirit-body writhing and twisting in great agony. I said, "Apollyon, that looks like a youth." He said, "It is." I said, "What could a child ever do to come here?" He said, "Sin and refuse to repent and die in their sins." I felt so badly, I said, "Let me suffer for it and let it rest awhile." Apollyon answered, "There is no rest in hell, day nor night. Each one has to suffer for himself in hell. There is no mercy given." I then asked, "How long has it been here?" He said, "For hundreds of years and will remain until the Judgment Day; then it will be cast into the lake of fire
Apollyon then brought me back to Jesus. I said, "Jesus, I don't expect to ever go there." He said, "All that ever go to hell go there of their own accord. I have my preachers, my mission workers, my personal workers, and the Holy Ghost to warn them, and I stand at the last chance to save whosoever will." I wakened. The vision put such a burden on me and I thought how awful it was. I didn't want to see any of my loved ones in sin, for they might continue on and be lost. As I was thinking, the Lord spoke to me by the Spirit and said, "Any soul is just as dear to me, and more so, than yours can be to you."
Since that time, unselfishly, I have tried to reach the lost and would not quit even when physicians advised that I give up preaching because of poor health. Through faith and prayers, God has kept me going. I want to leave my testimony here. I love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I know without doubt that God has forgiven my past sins, the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses me right now, and the Holy Ghost abides in sanctifying power. Should I be called to the other world before this book is off the press, I will be looking for you in God's Paradise. I have had my battles, been short-sighted, and failed, and many times have had to flee to Jesus for refuge. I have had great joys in the Lord. I have had many sorrows and heartaches, and have been made very sad at times, but never have I quit fighting for God, or lost my love for Him and for His cause. I do not hold a thing against anyone; I have only love for all, and hope to see you all in heaven.
MY CANCER EXPERIENCE
On October 6, 1954, I had a deep burning and soreness come in my throat. That night both ears began to ache and then throb, and that continued, night and day, for three years, lacking three weeks. After trying all the home remedies I knew, my throat was worse. I went to an eye, ear, and throat specialist. He said I had hay fever. I said, "Doctor, I may have, but I don't have the first symptoms of hay fever, and I don't believe I have it." But he assured me that it was. The only way he relieved me was of an examination fee.
About four months later I went to another doctor, an M. D. He said I had sinus trouble. I told him, "It may be, but I do not believe it is." He wrote a prescription for capsules that cost 58c each, but they gave me no relief. About four months later I went to another medical doctor. He also said it was sinus trouble. I told him I was pretty sure it was not, for I did not have mucus and none of my sinuses were affected. But he affirmed that was what it was, and gave me something to spray in my nose and more capsules to take.
In a few days I had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital in Lindsay, Calif. I told my doctor, Brother Philmore, about my throat and ears. He also thought it was sinus trouble. I kept telling him that I was getting worse. He gave me the best of care and did all he could. But this time the glands under the outer end of my tongue were swollen and throbbed hike a had toothache.
As soon as I was strong enough, after I was released from the hospital in which I had been for thirty days, I went to Los Angeles, Calif., to see Dr. Wendell Hendricks, who was using the Lincoln Bacteria Treatment, of which I had heard some good reports of success. I took the tests there, and Dr. Hendricks informed me that I had had a virus infection and it had damaged some cells in my throat, and that my heart attack had been caused by the poison in my body. He said it would take about nine months to clear up the damage. I started the treatment with him. My heart improved rapidly, but my throat and ears and glands continued to throb.
The next week, I said, "Dr. Hendricks, I would not be surprised if you would tell me that I have a cancer; neither will it scare me." He answered, "You do have, but we can clear it up." I took only nine weeks of treatments from him, and that was broken, with three weeks between treatments.
I resigned my pastorate at Fresno, Calif., to go back to Iowa, to be with my aged mother. She had been writing for me to come, that she needed me. I accepted a pastorate at Quincy, Ill., and drove back and forth to Eddyville, Iowa, but I was getting worse all the time.
In November I went to the doctor who had told me I had sinus trouble. He took a blood test and X-rays, and looked in my throat, and said, "There isn't anything the matter with you. Go home and forget it." It is pretty hard to forget the pains, the throbbing and burning every moment, night and day, until one can hardly stand it to swallow. I began to drink juices. To use anything with white sugar on it, or in it, would burn my throat until there is no way to describe it.
The next week I went to Mayo's Clinic at Rochester, Minn. After several doctors looked down my throat (none able to see the cancer), 27 X-rays, blood count, and other tests, one of the leading throat specialists said, "I cannot find the trouble." I said, "If you will run your finger away down my throat, you will." He did and said, "Yes, there is trouble there." Then he said, "Mr. Poe, what do you think it is?" I said, "It is a cancer." He said, "I am afraid it is." The next morning they put me to sleep and took a biopsy and found it malignant. They advised giving me cobalt therapy.
When I took the cancer, I had a couple of insurance policies that were to pay my doctor bill, medicine, and hospital bills, but they both dropped me, leaving me to pay the bills. They only paid part of the bill when I was in Lindsay hospital with the heart attack. So when I was at Mayo's, I did not feel I could pay what it was going to cost me.
I phoned to Iowa City and asked if they had the cobalt therapy, and they told me they did. So I went to the Iowa University Hospital. They did not accept the findings by Mayo's, and I was put through that torture of tests again. They told me I would have to undergo another biopsy. The M. D. told the doctors to put me to sleep because of my weak heart, but they thought I needed only a local. I was tied till I could not move, then a towel tied around my head, a board about three or four inches wide placed edgewise on the back of my neck. My head was pushed back to touch the table, then, with my tongue out, an instrument was forced down my throat -- I cannot remember ever having anything hurt me so bad in my life. I could not get my breath. They cut a piece out of the back of my tongue on one side about the size of a half dime. I heard one of them say, "We will have to take another one, but let him rest." It was hard to get my breath again. When I did, I begged them to put me to sleep, but they didn't. The next time they took as large a piece out on the other side, and then did not get down to the cancer by over half an inch. I could tell. But the terrible pains caused a heart attack. I was in the hospital in Iowa City from the first part of November until January 10 before they offered treatment. When they did, they offered X-ray therapy, which Mayo's would not recommend. In the meantime, some of my friends in Los Angeles, Calif., phoned me and asked me to come out there, and they would help me to get the cobalt therapy. So I asked to be released from the Iowa City hospital.
I was met at the train depot in Los Angeles and was taken to Sister Stella Clark's Rest Home. I was bedfast for a few days, and Sister Clark with others who came in were very kind to care for me. Arrangements were made for me to take the cobalt treatment at Cedars of Lebanon Hospital, L. A. While waiting for the call to take the treatment, Sister Clark would tell me how she had been praying and could not sleep, and felt I should not go ahead with the treatment. I was so sick and troubled with pains, I seemed to be unable to pray through, so we postponed the cobalt treatment.
I went to Hoxsey's Clinic at Dallas, Tex. The checking and tests, to me, were far short of what I had already experienced. I took their medicine. only to get worse. I returned to the Lincoln Treatment and continued to take the Hoxsey treatment also, but got worse. The smell of food made me so sick I could hardly eat anything.
I was advised to try the grape cure. I tried it for 30 days, but got worse. I had to be in bed most of the time by then, and had chills and high fever and ached until I could hardly stand it. I was aware that I was walled in with demons, but I also was conscious of a center, and I was in it, and the Lord was present with me. I realized the demons were limited and could not touch my soul. They could not bring against my soul an accusation of anything that was not already under the blood. How I praise the Lord for that! I searched my heart and asked the Lord to show me if there was anything in my life or heart that He was not pleased with, and He showed me nothing. There wasn't a day when I was chilling and suffering that He did not manifest Himself in some way, many times by giving me revelations of Bible truths, sometimes visions.
One day I had had a very hard day. My chills had been worse. My temperature was 104. It was the reaction from the shots that I was taking. I had a vision; I was wide awake. I was walking on a narrow highway, marked the Way of Holiness. It was paved with the promises of God. I had my Bible open in my right hand. I looked to the left of me, and there was a very broad way. Multitudes were on it. I saw a large pit and smoke like as from a furnace. Some were running their cars loaded with people into it. Others were blindly walking into it. Others were being pushed into it, and others were being thrown in. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away . . . If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned."
I turned aside in my vision to rescue some souls. A man standing near by in a coat of mail said, "From whence comest thou?" I said, "By Calvary and full consecration, on the Highway of Holiness, sir." I want to stop right here and say, Thank God for a definite testimony of salvation. A young man came running to me, and said, "I don't want to get mixed up in those sins and be lost." I said, "You need not. Go back to the road Repentance. Follow it to Calvary. There confess all sin and forsake it, accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. From there take the narrow way to full consecration, receive the Holy Ghost, and follow the Highway of Holiness to the City above."
Just then I saw four men gather a backslidden preacher and they were throwing him into the fire. I grabbed him, and the man in the coat of mail helped me to pull him back from the burning. I helped him to his feet and told him to hurry, to flee to repentance, to go to Calvary and take up his cross that he had laid down, and never to lay it down again; to go from Calvary to full consecration, tarry till filled with the Holy Spirit, and from there follow the Highway of Holiness.
Then I left the throng of people and started on up the narrow way of Holiness, with my Bible in my hand. I saw a beautiful sunset. I had never seen one so beautiful, so golden. The Spirit spoke to me and said, "This is your sunset." I thanked the Lord. Just then I saw the City drawing near. It was beautiful, all gold, and I was about to enter. I began to say, "Please, Lord, don't take me to Heaven yet, for I cannot win any souls for You if You do. And I cannot encourage Your children. And, dear Lord, there are hundreds of people praying for me, and their faith will be weakened. Please spare me to preach Your Word, and to win a few more souls for You. Then You may let me die with a heart attack, or by a car wreck, but don't let this cancer kill me. Let me go some other way."
I began to cry under the burden for that backslidden minister. Sister Muller came to my room to see what I wanted for supper, and she saw I was crying. She asked the reason, for many times the pains were so terrible it would cause me to cry. I told her my burden for _____ _____ and I asked her to call him long distance, and tell him to come to see me because I was very sick and wanted him to come at once.
He arrived about 8:00 p. m. On his way to see me he told his wife, "Brother Poe does not know I am backslidden. No doubt he wants me to pray for him, and here I am in no shape to pray for him." But as soon as he came into my room I told him what the Lord had showed me. I was crying. He took off his coat and said, "I will start back to Calvary right now. In about half an hour he testified to being reclaimed. He went on to holiness and the last report I had of him, he was preaching in a meeting.
For about ten weeks I asked the Lord to spare me to preach and win souls, but I continued to get worse. I could hardly swallow, and my throat was so nearly closed that it was difficult to get my breath. On one of my very hard days, the Lord passed a vision before me; and the next day, the same thing came again. I wrote it in the form of an allegory as follows.
A very beautiful young woman, who loved to engage for hours in the night in earnest intercession, was just coming from family prayer. Her house was a house of prayer. She came along a shining narrow path, clothed in a plain, but beautiful white -- shining white -- dress. The fashion of it was beautiful -- a collar around the neck, full length sleeves, a neat, full-cut waist, and a skirt that came within about three inches of the ground. Her shoes were white; her long hair was neatly done up; her cheeks were rosy: her eyes were clear and sparkling; her hands were without ornament. She was engaged, and this was her wedding attire. She was on her way to the garden to meditate of her bridegroom to be, for he had told her he was going to prepare a place for her, and he would surely come again. He had told her to be ever ready for him.
As I admired her plainness and beauty, a fine-looking prince approached her. He chose carefully his words and conduct. He spoke to her of a group of young folk who were having a gathering near by, and asked her to join them. She blushed and said, "I was going to the beautiful garden to meditate and pray, for I go there each day."
"I know," said the handsome prince, "but your influence in our gathering will be greatly appreciated and it will do you no harm, I am sure.
As she turned from her path to go with the prince, he said, "You should change this beautiful white garment for a more appropriate one, for this one you must not spot or soil."
"But I have no other," she replied.
"Oh," said the prince, "come with me. In yonder store I have a large supply." Shyly she listened and soon was enticed.
"Here," said he, "is one very becoming to thee." It was light in color, three-quarter length sleeves, and a low neckline. But the prince spoke of her beautiful neck and part of the chest. The dress was some shorter, to be true, but the prince said, "It is for just a social gathering, you know." Soon they were in with the crowd, and the day passed quickly. The young woman returned home, too weary to spend much time in prayer. The change in garment was a compromise.
The next day the prince called on her again. He talked of her presence among the young people, how she had been respected, and assured her that if she would just keep coming to their gatherings and engage in their interests, they would go to the meeting house with her. "In fact, some of them have already expressed their desire to go," he said.
Day by day the activities of the prince engaged her time until she neglected going to the garden, and the family altar became a place of formal, hurried prayers. And she was too tired to continue the long hours of prayer at night -- she must have her rest to carry on her activities. The prince made frequent calls at her home.
Now, he is in the meeting house beside her. After service, he said, "I understand you are going to have a meeting for the recall of the pastor. You need a change of pastors. I know of several fine, up-to-date, good mixers, well posted, broad-minded men. I will do my part to help you get a very suitable one for the times." She listened and the old time preacher was replaced with one transformed by the prince.
The church attendance increased. Then the prince said. "Your building is quite out of date. You should have a new, modern building. If you will build, I will help put on a drive and we will fill the building with people who are waiting for a more up-to-date movement."
A new building was erected with a modern kitchen in the basement, plenty of rooms for suppers and parties, side rooms for games and bridge, a recreation hall, and a swimming pool. The prince helped in the planning, and the building was soon filled with his associates. "More entertainment is necessary," the prince suggested, and the fair young woman was in full sympathy.
The prince now suggested that she should cut her hair -- "not very short, just short enough so it doesn't look too conspicuous." She yielded to his wishes, keeping up with the swift changes And in a short time you could not tell her from the world. The old-time prayer meeting had no place now. Sunday night services were giving place to picture shows, and she must ever be ready for the work planned by the pastor, while the television stole her time for reading God's Word and prayer.
One night she stood before the mirror. Her eyes were very dim, her body almost nude. Near by she saw the picture of herself when she wore her wedding garment. She looked at it, then into the mirror, the Word of God. Her beauty was gone, her long hair was short. She recalled the words of I Corinthians 11:15, 16, "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering," and that the church of God does not have such a custom as short hair. As the bride's long hair is a glory to her, she had lost the glory. She remembered her former days with her lover, her engagement, her love for prayer and praise. She remembered the wedding garment, and remarked that it was far too old-fashioned for her new crowd. She tried to stir up her first love, but found it gone. Something was dead within and there was no response.
Turning from the mirror, hoping she would some day get a wedding robe, to be at last a guest to the wedding, she heard a knock at the door. It was the bridegroom -- he had come! She was miserable, naked, and unprepared. She had lost her vision of eternal values.
This is the likeness of those persons who once loved Christ, wore the wedding garment, but were turned aside by the prince of this world, and became popular with the world, and will not be ready when the call comes from the Heavenly Bridegroom.
In July, I was so had that Dr. Hendricks gave me up, and said that if I ever was any better, or healed, the Lord would have to do it. I continued with his treatment for two more weeks. I had been cared for in the Clark's Rest Home and, at the last, Jack and Pearl Hamilton came of evenings to help care for me.
I could hardly breathe. Brother and Sister Clay Robison came then and took me to their home in Venice, Calif., near the ocean where it would be cooler. They did all that anyone could do to comfort me. At times I would choke until I felt that a little more, and I would be gone. I weighed 187 when I took the cancer. At the time I was in the Robison home I weighed 119 pounds. At times in the night I would have to go and sit in the yard to get enough breath.
One morning, about 8:30, while I was in Venice, after reading a chapter in my Bible I prayed and thanked the Lord. I was so blessed I wept and praised Him for some time. Then I read the last three chapters of Hebrews. When I read Hebrews 13:20-21 the Spirit said, "This is your funeral text." I got so blessed reading it, and I asked the Lord to let me live to preach it, for the other minister might not preach it like I would. I could see so much in it.
All day, I would weep a while, and praise the Lord a while.
About 2:00 p. m. Brother Robison's boy came to take me to the doctor. He said, "Brother Poe, you look so much better; what has happened?" I told him how the Lord was blessing me. As we went to the doctor, I wept and shouted all the way -- about four miles. He said, with tears, "Brother Poe, that must be wonderful." I said, "Son, it is. It is fresh from Heaven." He said, "I believe it, and if ever I get religion, I want that kind." I told him it was salvation he needed. He did not know the weeks of conflict against the powers of demons that I had fought through.
When I arrived at the clinic, I went straight to the office girl, Dr. Hendrick's daughter. I was weeping and praising the Lord and testified to her. She began to weep. I testified to the nurse and was so blessed I could hardly sit still. She had a very hard time getting the hypo-needle in my veins. She said, "If you don't quit praising the Lord, I cannot get that needle in your veins." I said, "Sister, this is one time I cannot hold my peace." She was in tears. The office girl came in and said, "Brother Poe, I want to see you when you are through in this room." When I went to the next room, she asked if I could pray for her. I did and in a little while she prayed through to victory. I was so blessed all the way home as I dealt personally with the Robison boy.
When we arrived home, Brother and Sister Robison were home from work. I told them of the day and its blessings, and wept and praised the Lord again. About 8:00 p. m., my son, James, called from St. Louis, Mo., and said, "Daddy, how are you? I can feel the impact of a great blessing clear back here." That blessed me till I shouted and cried over the phone for six minutes before I could talk (and the phone company charged no extra for the six minutes I shouted over the phone.) Then we talked three minutes.
Before retiring, the Robisons read some Scripture and prayed, and as I began to pray I got so blessed again I could hardly stand it. I stamped the floor, laughed, shouted, and praised my Lord for one hour and four minutes. Oh, so rich were His blessings! It was so divine, so sweet, so powerful, so full of glory, beyond words, heavenly! Oh, my soul was so flooded; so great was the blessing, I thought it would overcome me. The Robisons said they never had seen anything like it. They expected the Lord to either heal me or take me to Heaven. But when I did get quiet and get to bed, I had to sit up. It was only a few minutes until I was so bad that it looked as if I would die before they could get me outside where I could breathe more comfortably.
I went to the Los Angeles Cancer and Tumor clinic. Twelve cancer doctors examined me and put me through a check up -- 23 X-rays and other tests -- only to say they could promise me nothing encouraging. I told the head doctor that my folks lived in Iowa, and near there. He said, "If I were you, I would catch the first plane and go home." I was soon on my way; to Iowa. My mother, a niece, and Lois Williams met me at the plane. It was good to see them. Sister Williams was the former pastor where my mother attended church. Mother was happy to see me, but she showed the results of much sorrow. A little while before this my oldest brother's wife had taken very sick in the morning and had passed away that evening. About three weeks later my only living sister took sick one night and passed away the next night. And now here I was so very poorly.
The next day after arriving back in Iowa, I was arraigned before the cancer clinic in the Iowa City University hospital. They told me it was too late that neither they nor anyone else could ever help me now. I calmly said, "The Lord can." They told me that to treat me would only add more pains and I would wish I had not started. The nurse brought me a morphine pill for pain. I told her I did not want it, for I was expecting the Lord to help me, and I did not want to have to fight being a morphine addict. She said, "I will give you a shot then." I said, "No, I don't want it, for you would give me morphine in it." She said it was the doctors orders. I said, "If non-habit-forming pills won't ease the pains, then I will suffer them." The fourth night I was easier, and took pain pills only twice that night.
On the sixth day I could lean back a little farther to sleep and could swallow the milk and eggnog easier. Then the head doctor sent for me. He said, "You are getting better." I said, "The Lord is helping me." That he could not deny. He examined me and said, We are going to start treating you." I said, "If you do, it will be the Lord that heals me." They told me, when they started the treatment, that my throat would completely close, and the outside would blister; they would have to operate and put a tube in my wind pipe so that I could breathe; that I would have to be fed through the veins; and that I would get still poorer and maybe die.
Instead, I gained 22 pounds in 30 days, and none of those predicted things happened. They were amazed at how rapidly I recovered. After I was dismissed from the hospital I rode a bus for 95 miles, and walked five blocks. In three weeks after I arrived home, I attended a Holiness Convention, in five weeks I preached a message and in two more weeks I entered the evangelistic work, and the calls come from far and near. I am busy all the time.
And the Lord has supplied all my needs. People I had never known or heard of sent offerings. The expenses were very high, but our Lord's promises cannot fail. All His ways are best.
I was not healed instantly, but gradually. It is the ninth of May (1958) now. On April 25 I had a checkup at the cancer clinic and one of the doctors said, "You are a lucky man." I said, "No, it was the Lord who did it." He replied, "It surely was, for He didn't help us." I weighed 190 pounds the day I had my last checkup. To Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost be all the glory and praise.
While praying for my healing, I asked the Lord to search my heart and, if there was anything in the way, to show it to me. And I meant it with all my heart. He did not show me anything in the way, but blessed my soul. Daily I asked Him to help, and I was conscious of His presence. I also told the Lord that this world had nothing that I wanted to live for but to win souls. I feel I have been spared for a while for that purpose. If ever I die with a cancer, it will have to be another one, for that one is gone. How wonderful to live again and be free from severe throbbing pains! All the praise and glory belongs to Jesus. I do love Him and praise Him for His wonderful grace and love.
The Lord promised me, when I surrendered my life to Him to minister for Him, that if I would furnish the man, He would furnish the grace, the text, and the places to preach, and take care of me and supply my every need. I took Him up on His proposition and furnished the man. He has never failed me. In my sickness He put it on the hearts of people to give for my expenses. The two days I was at Dallas, Tex., at Hoxsey's Clinic, it cost me $554. With Dr. Hendricks, I took four shots a day in the veins, and sometimes other shots. Those came four days a week and some of them cost as high as $50 each; others ran $10 each, even though Dr. Hendricks gave me a reduction. The money came in. I never had a moment's anxiety about finances. May the Lord bless each one who helped.
One week I had not enough to pay my bill, but the Lord put it on the heart of a blind lady to order a number of my books, and on Monday here came the money.
The room at Sister Clark's was furnished by her, without any cost. My transportation was provided for, and at the time fixed for me to return home the Lord put it on the hearts of the good people, where I attended church when I could while I was sick, to take up an offering to send me home by plane. This offering paid the fare to the penny. When I was able to preach again, the money stopped coming in for my sickness.
One day when I was very sick and so low in body, I said, "Lord, if You can put it on the hearts of people to help finance me, You can heal me." I was reminded by the Spirit that the Lord had told me He would supply all my needs and take care of me, and "He will not forsake you now." Oh, glory to God! I am so glad I am His; and He is mine -- a never failing Savior! Praise His name for ever. "My God shall supply all your need, according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." "No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." "My grace is sufficient for thee." "Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you."
Be obedient. He cares. He understands. Do not doubt God, but be submissive to His will. Do not let my testimony enbondage you, but may God use it to glorify His Son Jesus and to encourage you. Trust Him at all times. He doeth all things well. His will is best. Not my will but His: sick or well, He is my Savior.
When I was so sick at Sister Clark's Rest Home, one of the women who was staying there was also sick, and she became bitter in her heart toward God. The devil had accused God to her. She felt that God was cruel and mean. I was told of her condition. Others had tried to reason with her, but could not get her to see that it was Satan tormenting her, to cause her to be lost. With another person I went to her room. I let her express her feelings, and then for two hours I talked Scripture and reasoned with her and prayed with her. I left her happy, in the hands of Jesus. A few weeks later she passed on to be with the Lord, fully trusting in Him, and happy.
I never questioned the Lord as to why I was afflicted with the cancer, but I did ask Him to use it to reach some souls. I have had different people tell me how they were encouraged when they would come to visit me and we would talk of the Lord. One man came from San Diego, Calif., to encourage me. When he went to the El Monte Holiness Church of God that night, he testified that he went to encourage me, but instead, he received such a soul lift and blessing that he went away feeling more determined than ever to live close to God.
The first Sunday that I was in the Iowa City hospital, seven or eight men gathered around my bed and pushed another man's bed near mine, and asked me to preach them a sermon. The Lord helped me to preach for about twenty-five minutes on the preparation to meet God. From then on, someone came to my bed for prayer nearly every day, and sometimes several in a day. Surely the Lord did bless my sickness in using me to help folks whom I would not have met had I been well.
Oh, the unsearchable riches of His wisdom! Words cannot express how I appreciate His leadings and dealings with my soul and life. I love Him; all His ways are best. And when my course here is finished, I am going with Him to rest. I praise Him for His wonderful grace, His love, His fellowship. He is All in all to my soul.
I did not ask for a long life, but to be spared to win souls and to encourage the saints. I haven't felt better for years. May God encourage you and help you to be in His will at all times.
My hand card philosophy:
The Way to Happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much, fill your life with love, scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others, do as you would be done by. Put your trust in Jesus. Pray often. Be filled with the Holy Spirit, and be led by Him.
BUT SATAN HINDERED
This text states a much-neglected truth. Satan starts laying snares for folk at infancy to hinder them from becoming Christians and then continues to hinder them lest they become their best for God, lest they might "recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will."
Satan is the arch deceiver. He deceived angels -- one-third of them caused war in Heaven. Those fallen angels are chained in darkness unto the day of judgment when they shall be brought before the lake of fire, prepared for the devil and his angels, and they shall be cast into the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone.
He deceived Eve and Adam in the Garden-causing them to doubt the Word of God, to believe that God did not mean what He said. Satan still uses this art of deceiving that he may hinder men from finding God. He transforms his ministers, making them to appear as ministers of righteousness. They will quote the Word of God, but imply, if not state definitely, that it does not mean just what it says. They give Satan's version and translation, thus blinding the minds that they may not see God. His ministers will take folk without a born-again experience into their religious organizations. They require no separation from the world and worldliness; they have low standards, causing their followers to have a form of godliness, but at the same time to deny the power of godliness. They deny the possibility of being saved, of having a transformed life, and of having grace to live above sin.
Satan deceives and hinders by telling his ministers that once you make a profession, you are eternally saved, though you sin every day. They deny sanctification, that experience in which the heart is cleansed, made pure through the blood of Jesus Christ, and is baptized with the Holy Ghost, subsequent to regeneration, a second definite work of the grace of God wrought in the heart of the believer.
Satan will deceive and hinder people from following the desire of their hearts by getting them to worship a day instead of Christ. Or he will get some to worship their denomination, or the leaders or founders of their religion, or some man -- calling him infallible. Such heathenish ideas! He will get them to do penance for sin instead of repenting; to confess to man instead of to God. He will get them to pray in the name of someone other than Jesus, or to some dead person who can never intercede for them. Jesus is the intercessor. Satan will hinder true prayer from being answered. Daniel, when he was praying for a certain thing, continued to pray for twenty-one days. Finally, an angel came and told him that God had heard him the first day, but that Satan had hindered the arrival of the answer. Most of us fall short at times by not holding on in faith and prayer. When we do not pray through, Satan wins his point.
Some are deceived by Satan through vain philosophies, science so-called, modernism, socialism, communism, and lodges. He will inspire his ministers to say that the grave is all the hell there is. But the Bible says, "The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God." Jesus said to the Christ-rejecters in His day, "How can ye escape the damnation of hell?"
Since Satan is a liar and the lather of lies, he is deceiving folks with signs and wonders -- lying wonders. They are not true, but false. Rev. 21:8 says, "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake of fire which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."
We do not have to do spectacular things to prove that we have the Spirit of God. Jesus when tempted of Satan, did not use a single method he offered but He said, "Get thee behind me Satan and Satan did as commanded. People will be endued with power from Satan to perform strange things and millions will be deceived. You say, "How do you know?" Here is one proof: If people do not receive the love of the Truth, that they might be saved, "God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: that they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness." And again, "They that dwell on the earth shall wonder, whose names were not written in the book of life ... when they behold the beast."
One of the tools the devil uses to hinder God's people is compromise. Idleness is the devil's workshop. If he can get people to be lovers of pleasure and worldliness more than lovers of God, he has dimmed and hindered their usefulness. The fall of Israel was in their eating, drinking, and rising up to play, having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof. To seek place or prominence over another, to be amused and entertained by games, and sports, and amusements that are inconsistent with a deep spiritual life, to wear clothing that is immodest, to wear jewelry, such as gold and pearls, and such as is forbidden in the Scriptures, will dim one's testimony for God.
How often Satan has used careless conversation to hinder deep spirituality. Be careful what you say. Satan starts lies on people to hinder them. He did on Joseph, on Jesus, on Paul, and back in Jeremiah's time the people said, "Let us slay him with the sword of our tongue." Satan has ruined the influence of many a godly person by a lying tongue. Your influence is weakened when you become a talebearer. "Thou shalt not go up and down among my people as a talebearer."
Hobby riding is a method often used by Satan to sidetrack people from the narrow way. He will make them feel they are disobeying God if they are not riding a certain hobby. They will unChristianize others who will not ride the same hobby. A man in the insane asylum rode a hobby stick. One day a neighbor went to see him. He said, "Say Bill, that is a fine horse you are riding." The man stopped, and said, "Oh, it isn't a horse. If it were I could get off. It is just a hobby." If an insane man can ride a hobby and know the difference, what about the poor person whom Satan has put on one of his hobbies?
A man sold a hound dog for an enormous price. He bragged on the dog as if he were the best deer and coon dog he had ever known. The man who bought the dog took him hunting. Soon the dog started to chase a deer. A fox jumped up. The dog left off chasing the deer to run the fox. Then a rabbit jumped up, and the dog left chasing the fox and chased the rabbit. Then a little timber mouse ran up a small bush, and the hound dog stopped chasing the rabbit and began to bark "treed" at the mouse.
The man who now owned the dog thought surely his dog had a deer bayed. He hurried to him only to find his fine dog barking up a sapling at a little timber mouse. If Satan can get a man or woman, whom God could use, to leave the main line of preaching the Word of God to preach some fanatical idea, he has hindered that preacher from being a soul winner. Oh, may God open our eyes to be wise to win souls.
Satan hinders some by making them believe that if they preach for anyone but their own little clique it will be a sin. He tried this on Peter, to keep him from obeying God and going to Cornelius' house. Cornelius was a man of God though not an Israelite. Finally, however God got the vision before Peter and Peter understood that it was from God. He went as he was led of God in answer to the prayer of the Italian man. And the Holy Ghost came upon them at Cornelius' house as He did upon the one hundred twenty in Jerusalem on the day of Pentecost.
The Jews sought to kill Paul because Satan had put it in their hearts that such a fellow should not live who would preach to anyone but to them. They were living after the old Law and not under Grace. They felt no one else but they were right. Jesus said, "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature."
If Satan can, he will get us to follow some fanatic who has forsaken Jesus' command, one who feels like the Pharisee of whom Jesus spoke, who went to pray and all the while boasted in his self-righteousness and praised himself. He thanked God that he was not as that publican. But who went home justified, the Pharisee or the publican? Oh, may God help us ministers to see the vision and plan of God.
Jesus was accused of receiving sinners and eating with them. Now wasn't that a terrible sin? If Satan can make you believe that you would do wrong to preach for others outside your little clique, he is hindering you from fulfilling the call that God gave you -- "Preach the word." When Satan tried to get Jesus to obey his command, Jesus said, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." We must preach every word of God that people may live spiritually.
It is Satan's purpose to kill the church. Here are some of his ways. He will starve the people by keeping them from hearing the Word preached in its fullness. He will keep people too busy to read the Bible and to pray. He will inspire the preaching of a social gospel, inject a spirit of ease and indifference; cause people to lose the vision; make them too weak to pray the power of God down; put on social entertainment instead of fasting and prayer and groans for the presence and power of God. He will make people content with a profession, minus glory and power. He will paralyze the church with worldliness and love of the world, and with a drowsiness and slumbering, in the face of soon coming judgment. May God help us to awake before it is too late!
Many times when people go to church, Satan hinders them from getting the message the man of God has for them. He will keep their minds occupied with other things. Sometimes the man is still figuring and planning his business while he is sitting in service. Perhaps the woman is planning the dinner, or the housework, or noticing how someone else is dressed. Another may feel the preacher is "preaching right at me; someone has told him about me; I'm not going to come back to hear him." Satan's talk! It may be that the preacher has never heard anyone speak even your name.
Oftentimes Satan uses someone's whispering to attract the attention of a listener, and thus hinder them from getting the Bible message being preached. Many times such whispering will hinder the preacher from carrying through his thoughts, and making his message clear. Sometimes Satan will use the well-meant words of rebuke of the minister to the offenders to cause them to get angry and be offended. and sometimes the relatives also take offense.
Other times Satan will cause a drowsiness to come over a listener; and it is certain, they are not hearing much while they are sleeping. We carry no burden for souls while we doze.
Another may feel slighted if, for some reason, certain ones do not happen to notice them, and Satan will use that to hinder their spiritual progress.
If Satan can get you to think how So-and-So needed that message, he hinders the Spirit from applying the message to your own heart. If he can get you to pick faults with others, he will likely blind you to your own. And if he can get you to backbiting, he knows you will devour one another and bring division and bitterness. Then he will tell the outsiders to "Look; that is their Christianity." Thus others are also hindered. Some weak ones may be turned out of the way and say, "If that is Christianity, I don't want any thing to do with it." When Satan has accomplished a division, a split in the church, the lost outside people usually turn aside in disgust. May God help us to be careful. We are to be His lights, that men may see our good works, and glorify our Father which is in Heaven.
I had preached on being led of the Spirit, and oh how careful we should be not to grieve Him, and to guard against doing things that Satan could use to hinder the meeting. One night, at the close of a good service, a spirit of conviction was felt. A person, after coming forward, asked to speak, and I permitted it. That person accused others, entirely out of order. It killed conviction, and one man told me he had intended to come to the altar to get reclaimed. But when that person said what he did, the spirit of conviction lifted. That backslider is still away from God.
In another meeting, I related this and told how Satan had hindered, and how careful people should be lest Satan hinder souls from getting saved. The next night, after a stirring message, and lots of conviction, a person came to the front as if coming to the altar. After asking permission to speak a word, and before I could say, "If it is not going to involve others, but is for yourself," they were pouring out some old gossip, contempt, and feelings, and making the thing look terrible, when it was all in their own imaginations. It was sickening to hear. All conviction left and a feeling of shame came over us all. That night a woman was in the congregation who had not been in any church for years. She listened to the preaching with hunger, searching for the right way. She was greatly moved upon, but what the person said hindered, and do you think she came back? No, and likely never will. Others were there that night who never came back. Satan hindered and that meeting was not a success.
In another meeting, after a powerful message and deep conviction on the congregation, a person spoke up, criticizing me out of place. It grieved the Spirit of God, pleased Satan, and people who said they had come to be converted left the service unsaved and, so far as I know, they have never gotten right with God.
A number of years ago I was helping pray with a young man at the altar. He was crying and praying. I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Pray through." In a moment or so he quit praying and left the altar. The next day I heard him say that he was about through when someone put a hand on him. He wondered who did it and why and got his mind off his seeking God. Over twenty years later I talked with him and asked him to become a Christian. His reply was, "I tried once and just as I began to get in touch with God, someone put his hand on me and broke the spirit of seeking. I never go to church any more." In a few days he got into trouble and was sent to the penitentiary for a number of years. Satan used my touching him to cause him to quit seeking.
In an individual's life, Satan's first effort is to try to keep him from seeking salvation when he is young. The Bible says, "Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them." If Satan can get one in the habit of resisting the Holy Spirit, he will likely encourage that one to continue to do so until the Holy Spirit is grieved away.
Satan will harden the heart and lead into sin and bad habits, then tell one he has gone too far to be saved. He will give him a spirit which resents anything that would condemn his evil ways, and a spirit that resists anything that would bring him to God. After one has gotten into sin, then been awakened by the Spirit to see his condition, he understands that he will have to make his wrongs right, make restitution. Satan will endeavor to make him think he just cannot do that; and so many go on in their sins rather than make restitution.
Satan also works to get individuals married to the wrong person. If he sees that a young person is going to be used of God, if he can get that one tied up with a person who will not go along with that one to serve the Lord, he has hindered that life. Or perhaps he will get one married to another who makes a profession but who will put up a fight when the companion is called of God to the work of an evangelist or pastor or missionary or singer. Some examples:
I knew a young woman whom the Lord called to be in evangelistic singer. She sang for me in one meeting where there were 240 seekers, so the pastor reported. There was not one time during that meeting but what her special song was right in line with the message the Lord had put on my heart to preach, and she did not know what I was going to preach about. She was led of God in choosing the songs, and was greatly anointed and sang in the Spirit. She told me she could not keep saved and not sing for the Lord. She married a young man. After their marriage he forbade her singing in revivals. That great talent was buried in a broken heart and in a backslidden life. The man she married made life very hard for her. What will the judgment reveal?
I know a young man who is a gifted, talented preacher, a natural evangelist. Satan got him to backslide, then to marry a woman who will not reason to the calling of God. Satan is using her to hinder the Lord from using her husband.
Another gifted preacher has a wife who nags and finds fault with him continually. She has threatened to leave him if he obeys God and fulfills the call of God.
Some so oppose their companions that they make life so miserable for them that they are greatly hindered. Others will not write to the absent one when he is away and, if they do, it is only to find fault and complain. I talked to one woman about how she was doing, and she said, "Well, he makes my life miserable when he goes out and obeys God." Many persons are unequally yoked together. The Bible forbids such.
If Satan can get you yoked up with a companion who belongs to some religious movement that does not believe in the new birth, or in holiness, he has succeeded in putting a hindrance in your way to keep you from ever being your best for God. To go with God many have to go with a broken heart, because Satan has hindered.
Satan opposes and fights true holiness. He has a fake to offer you. It can be detected. He substitutes human works for true holiness, which is a pure heart, perfect love. He sidetracks some with gifts of the Spirit instead of the Gift -- the Holy Spirit. You can have a gift and not have a pure heart, but you cannot have the sanctifying power without having a pure heart and the Holy Ghost himself -- not one of His gifts.
Lovers may exchange gifts, but that is no sign they have one another; neither is the gift the evidence that they have each other. But in marriage they say a "yes," or "I will," and each receives the other. Each gets the giver, which is far greater than gift. When you receive the Holy Ghost, you get a pure heart. "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." Christ is not ashamed to call us who are sanctified brethren. As in marriage two persons are joined together, in sanctification we are joined to Christ. Jesus prayed the Father to sanctify us that we might be one. He also prayed for His love to abide in us.
Satan hinders the people of God by loading them down with debts. Avoid making debts. Live within your means. God demands it. Satan plans to get you in debt so that he can hinder you from being your best. He would keep you, especially you ministers, so busy trying to pay for unnecessary things that you will not have time to pray and read your Bible and work for God.
Satan hinders in the home, getting you so busy you allow the cares of this life, the deceitfulness of riches, and the pleasures of this world to crowd out your spiritual life. When he has robbed you of your peace and joy, he will get you to be cross to your companion; he will make it easy for you to find fault with little things the other one does. I have been where it looked like nothing the companion did or tried to do pleased the other. Satan had gotten them into such a state until I feared the one would just walk out and never come back. Don't lay this to bad nerves -- just lay the big part of such on a bad case of carnality.
He will lead you into a stage of self-pity and then suggest that you "bawl them out; they need it; they don't appreciate the good you do anyway." He will blind you to the fact that you are driving the devil's wedge to break your love and home. And this pleases Satan, grieves the Spirit of God, and turns to an excuse that dates back as far as the Garden of Eden, when Satan deceived Eve. Adam laid the blame on Eve, and she on the serpent. Most of the fault lies in the one finding it. He makes life miserable for himself and for those around him. Sure, it is Satan breaking the love in that home.
Satan hinders when one parent is trying to correct a child by causing the other to interfere.
Satan hinders at family worship, either by sending a spirit of hurry, or by the disobedience of children, or by the demands of some unsaved one in the home, and by one of the parents taking the part of the unsaved.
If you have a radio, Satan will try to have it going when grace is being asked at the table, or he will get you to listen to that tin-canny, so-called music that is grievous to a Spirit-filled person. Or he will suggest a television to those who would not think of going to a theater. Then he will use it to take the time that could be spent in reading the Bible and good literature and in praying. Television with all its display -- pipe, cigarette, liquor, murder, rape, robbery etc., is many times worse than the theater. Visual education stays with one longer than any other kind. The Bible reads, "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes." The TV is Satan's latest hindrance to keep people from church. Many stay home right during a revival meeting because their special show will be on at that hour.
Satan hinders Gospel work by getting persons to be stingy, withholding their tithes and offerings. He hinders in missionary work by telling people there are heathen right here at home. And there are! But that is no excuse for not obeying God and going to the field, if He calls you, or helping to finance another's going.
Satan hinders the spirituality of our young people through the teaching of evolution in our schools, by the wrong attitudes toward the Bible, and the nakedness at the gym, which breaks down modesty.
Along with deceiving and hindering, Satan is also an accuser of the brethren. He accuses the saints before God day and night. But he will soon lose his position as the prince of the air, and he will be cast down to the earth. Then woe, woe, woe unto the children of men because Satan will be come in great wrath. He will know that his time is short and he will go out in great fury. He is the head of the Antichrist powers.
Satan is leading men in government to put politics ahead of principles. In these last days he is giving political men their power and wisdom and seat, and is causing nations to wonder after that beast that he is organizing. He has already had his forerunners as John was forerunner for Christ. They are men who have set the way to lead their nations into the powers of this world of sin and darkness. We in America, as in Russia, had forerunners to set up communism. The New Deal is a forerunner for the Man of Sin.
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THE POWER OF GOD IN A REDEEMED LIFE ~ Chapter 23
By Pearl P. Poe