Mark 7:21-23

The “Unmet Needs” Theory Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading "“Unmet Needs” Excuse–aka Lie"…

The “Unmet Needs” Theory Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading “The “Unmet Needs” Theory (aka lie)”…

The “Unmet Needs” Theory Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading "“Unmet Needs” Excuse–aka Lie"…

Some pastors and marriage counselors simply feed the cheater’s entitlement. Even when a cheater confesses infidelity–say an emotional affair–some will choose to focus on the faithful party’s “deficiencies.” They will treat the cheater as the “victim” in the marriage as opposed to the sinful aggressor that they are. Such people fail to understand and apply … Continue reading “Feeding the entitlement beast”…

“She cheated on you? Well, did you take her for granted?” -Cruel, Cheater-Apologist Pastor What I find interesting about accusations about ingratitude is how they seem one-sided when a cheater in involved. The faithful spouse is fair game to be criticized for not showing enough gratitude for their spouse. This is doubly the case if … Continue reading “The ingratitude of cheaters”…

When you have a cheater engaging in a series of affairs, you have someone who is trying to fix the internal with the external. This is not about the marriage. The affairs reveal a heart that is in need of spiritual and emotional healing. It is an internal issue within the cheater needing addressing. A … Continue reading “A series of affairs”…

“For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” -Mark 7:21-23, NIV When a lack of sex (or attention) is treated as the cause… Infidelity is not … Continue reading “When a “lack” of sex or emotional attention is cited as the infidelity cause…”…

Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage Stressors and Infidelity”…

“For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” -Mark 7:21-23, NIV When a lack of sex (or attention) is treated as the cause… Infidelity is not … Continue reading “When a lack of sex (or attention) is treated as the cause…”…

And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful. -Matthew 19:9, NLT It mystified me why good Christian pastors ever needed to hear more to the story of my marriage’s ending than verification that my ex-wife had committed adultery (and I hadn’t). The probing … Continue reading “PSA: Adultery alone can cause divorce!”…